10) When you walk your pet turtle, you have trouble keeping up.
09) Horses follow you around because they think you are a salt lick.
08) The Smithsonian Institution offered to purchase your pill collection.
07) All your friends think your “blue lipstick” is way cool.
06) The local drugstore named you ” Customer of the Year.”
05) You take a cab to your mail box.
04) Your insurance agent tells you that crash test dummies have a better chance of getting life insurance than you do.
03) On your last birthday, you used a hair dryer to blow out the candles.
02) You got beat up by the Energizer bunny.
01) The only vein you have left is the weather vane on your roof.