I tried for years to have children because the doctor said I could not have them, I was going to prove him wrong. I got married on September 11,1985 and got pregnant on our honeymoon (yes we have a love child). Actually after trying for years we gave up and then rarely had sex (I guess my Ex being Gay may have something to do with that because on our honeymoon we only had sex once and I got pregnant). I didn’t know it at the time but while I was conceiving (I was already pregnant (honeymoon lasted 3 week so there was plenty time to get pregnant), we went to Disney World and I rode the roller coasters and all the other rides already pregnant and didn’t know it. On October 1995 one month later I found out I was pregnant, boy was I excited and scared. I was excited to be able to have a baby but what would my life be like now that I have to look after a baby myself, my ex, and 3 developmentally delayed adults that I had living with us at the time. They were in my care 24 hour a day all of them except the Ex who was useless anyway. He never had a way with children.
Anyway while I was pregnant, it went pretty good; it was the healthiest time of my life. It wasn’t until they let me go 16 days over due that I began having problems and so was the baby – it so big I was admitted right away. I had an ultra sound on the baby and they couldn’t find very much fluid left, they had no idea where it went, they said that maybe the baby absorbed it but it was time to get the baby out. Oh by the way, I developed gestational diabetes while I was pregnant so needless to say I had one huge baby, he was 10 lbs when he was born but lost all his baby fat shortly after that. But he was the size of a 3 month old when he came out; all the clothes I had for him were too small. He had already outgrown newborn pampers and clothes and he wasn’t even born.
It wasn’t until after I had my baby Nicholas that my health started to go down hill, then I got pregnant by one of those one of occasion things again and got pregnant again. But I miscarried that one at 3 months. Before I got married I could not get pregnant and after I got married every time we had sex which was very little to none (GAY remember), I got pregnant. My second pregnancy made my health even worse. Nicholas had a hard time coming out and I had a hard time pushing him out. I never had the lung capacity to take three deep breaths and push, he got stuck way down in the birth canal and they couldn’t do a section, so the suck him out after missing twice (what a cone head he had).
When he was finally born he would not cry and I always wondered what they did now days to get the baby breathing, they spanked his bottom (lightly) a few times and he started to cry, I was so glad to hear that cry. My milk never did come down so I tried to pump, seeing that Nicholas would not latch on, after trying for three weeks the lactation nurse who came to my home to help with breast feeding discovered that he was tongue tied and had to get the skin that is between the bottom lip to the teeth gum line and cut it or he would have had problems with speech.
So after two days in the hospital he started shaking and crying unusually, the nurses tried to tell me that he was just cold, but I knew something was wrong after waiting 5 hours sitting up in a chair with the baby in my arms, (I could not get around very well because Nicholas was so big that he tore me up inside ) a nurse come in and took Nicholas right away. A short time later a doctor call me from my room to see Nicholas and he informed me that I had a sick child on my hands his sugar level was below 1 and he was not shaking because he was cold he was having seizures. He had nothing to drink for 3 days because the hospitals are big on breast feeding here and would not give me a bottle to feed him until the doctor told the nurses to feed this child. His sugars came up instantly. It is very dangerous for gestation diabetic babies they need to be watched for 24 hour after birth and have their sugars check every few hours to make sure they are in check because he was so used to my high sugars and when he was born he didn’t have me to depend on. And on top of that they broke his collar bone delivering him. But all is well now , he is a health 7 year old. I wish I could say that for myself.
But when I got home life was different, you had this small baby and now you have to raise it on your own. The first 3 months I had the baby blues, and believe me that was very scary for me, I knew I had to love and protect my baby, but I couldn’t get attached to him. There were a number of factors going on in my life and now I had a baby to try and fit into my busy CF life. But after the third month, it was like someone turned on a light, I woke up one morning and I had a strange longing to hold my baby and did so the whole day. I was so glad because to me that meant I needed my baby and I was ready to give him 110% (and still look after everyone else in the house). But my health was still declining although I was looking after myself, no matter what I did the CF took over and to this day I am paying for it. But it was worth it, by the way when I got pregnant the first time, as soon as my CF doctor found out he wanted me to have an abortion, I would not hear tell of it. I look at him today any say I am so glad I did not listen to the doctor. At that time I was the second person in Newfoundland in 15 years to have a baby. So I can see why they were scared because they never had much info on pregnancy and CF at that time, at least not in this province.